Somewhere the Zebra is Dancing

slutformisha:

un-feuilly-de-papier:

un-feuilly-de-papier:

What do french people call a really bad thursday?

a trajeudi

update: if you tell this joke to someone living in france they will refuse to look at you

walkthelonelyroad:

does my messy hair and the dark circles under my eyes in combination with an oversized shirt and slutty underwear turn you on

superstreetfighter2turbohdremix:

i am 0% the person i was three years ago and i would probably get in a fight with 2011 me

luvyourselfsomeesteem:

These plus size models are so toned, tall, blemish-free and pear-shaped. They are unrealistic too and advertisments think they are so forward thinking with “All bodies are beautiful” but they haven’t got a clue.

Peel your heart like a pomegranate.
Offer it to him, palms outwards.
Say “eat.”

Watch him come away
stained red by you.
You’re in his teeth.

He’ll kiss you with that mouth.
Azra.T “Fruit” (via ameliacarina)
Fuck, my tea.
me approximately an hour after every time I make tea (via madopiano)

phosphorescentt:

like how about a body positive song that celebrates our bodies and never mentions a man

what she says: you can touch my hair if you want
what she means: please for the love of god play with my hair feel how soft it is i will roll over into your lap like a kitten

pizzopaps:

i’m like an npc i won’t do anything unless you interact with me

a hilarious joke

wingscanspeak:

spookweedeveryday:

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU 

EXPLAIN

october 31st: SPOOOOOOKKKKKY!!!!!!!!!!! buy candy and scaaaary costumes here!!!
november 1st: JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOO

outerspacecake:

love and support and celebrate fat girls who don’t have a booty or like in general fat girls with the fat in places that never get celebrated p l e a s e for the love of everything that is good in this world

like let’s not pretend curvy is a synonym for fat curvy is literally just this one specific socially acceptable way to be fat and I am getting increasingly frustrated about it

Dascha Polanco attends the 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on August 25, 2014 in Los Angeles, California.