Somewhere the Zebra is Dancing

tatianaception:

the idea of being right-handed or left-handed is so fucked up. like how in the hell is it evolutionarily advantageous to have one hand that’s good at everything and one that’s fucking useless. why aren’t we all dead.

anchors-awaysailor:

Things Girls Have To Do In The Shower:
-shave
-shampoo hair
-condition hair
-wash the face (have you ever tried to get makeup off)
-wash the body
-try to get conditioner out & fail to get it all out
-did i mention shave that takes a long time
-like summon satan and stuff

Things Boys Have To Do In The Shower:
-i dunno i think my brother uses soap sometimes

Don’t complain when my shower’s not 5 minutes long

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

mescalineforbreakfast:

Kinda wanna have sex

Kinda wanna sleep for 12 hours

Kinda wanna eat 2 large pizzas 

sunshine-plot:

"Instructions for a Bad Day" - Shane Koyzcan

tipsymaple:

I may not be a perfect person but at least I have never yelled at an employee in a store

queenerestor:

We are trying

onlypaintonthewall:

Fuck up your sleeping schedule with me so i know it’s real. 

ego-x:

welcome-foolishmortals:

octoberanytime:

Who is ready for chilly nights, pumpkin spiced lattes, hoodie & jeans, bonfires, crisp air, cider mills, hayrides, haunted houses, 13 nights of Halloween, apple cider, fall candles, changing leaves, carving pumpkins, and walks in the woods. I know I sure am!

HELLO YES THAT WOULD BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

image

aristocratslayer:

reblog if school hasnt even started yet but its already stressing you out

eidak:

the sound of teenage girls laughing near you when you’re by yourself is literally the most terrifying thing a person can experience

vegan-yums:

Sweet & Spicy Sesame Noodles with Rainbow Veggies

y2kid:

i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them